I'm a fan of Paul O'Connell's, and have always reckoned he's really Hell Boy. (That's a compliment Paul - please don't eat me for breakfast!) Ron Perlman will definitely play him when they film his life story.
I'm probably the last one in the world to have received this email, but it made me laugh out loud, so I'm reproducing it here...
Paul O'Connell can assemble the entire contents of an IKEA store without instructions or an allen key.
When Paul O'Connell was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
Every mathematical inequality officially ends with < Paul O'Connell.
If you wake up in the morning, its because Paul O'Connell spared your life.
Paul O'Connell won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasnt a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.
What colour is Paul O'Connells blood? Trick question. Paul O'Connell does not bleed.
Paul O'Connell once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
When Paul stares into the sun, the sun flinches.
If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, butPaul O'Connell says its beef. Then its beef.
James Bond has a licence to kill. Paul O'Connell don't need no licence.
Paul O'Connell's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd - no one fools Paul O'Connell.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Paul O'Connell. Sounds like a fair fight.
Paul O'Connell played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Paul O'Connell once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
You can lead a horse to water. Paul O'Connell can make him drink.
Paul O'Connell once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Paul O'Connell jumps out.
Killing Paul O'Connell doesnt make him dead. It just makes him angry.
Paul O'Connell does the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle in ink.
When Google cant find something, it asks Paul O'Connell for help.
There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Paul O'Connell way. It's basically the right way, but faster and with deaths.
When Paul O'Connell watches a pot, it boils immediately.
Paul O'Connell once killed a group of Samurai Warriors with only a ball point pen. This lead to the phrase "The pen is mightier than the sword".
Paul O'Connell has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
Before the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Paul O'Connell.
Classic!
B
Edit - Here's another couple:
Superman wears Paul O'Connell's pyjamas.
Paul O’Connell doesn’t do push-ups, he pushes the world down.
- Courtesy of Gerry Thornley's article in The Irish Times
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